I think we got the racism thing nipped in the bud.  It took some careful consideration, some conversations, talks and examples - but I think we're okay now.  Thank you everyone for commenting and pointing things out I might not have thought of otherwise.  While it's a touchy subject, I appreciate the teachable moment her comment provided.  I might not have considered the subject otherwise!

Thankfully, it was a nice time to dive into American History regarding slavery, the Civil War, Lincoln, through the 'separate but equal' era, and the wonderful black contributors to our US of A, the '60s and all that!  It wasn't exactly WHEN I wanted to cover it, but I am grateful to know she's got a better understanding of American History, and especially with regard to black history.  Who has to wait 'till February?! :)

I've ditched my pediatrician, and am currently knee-deep in finding another, more supportive member of the medical profession.  I'm hoping to resolve the matter before DS turns a month old, which gives me about a week to decide on one.  (Wish me luck!)

I found more curriculum at Sam's and Costco (sams was cheaper, and had MORE years available, but I already tossed the Costco receipt - darn it!).  They were kinda cheap, but I found 2nd-6th grade and they 'conform to state and national standards' which is a plus.  We'll supplement for subjects like history and science with library trips.

Which means - WE'RE DONE WITH CURRICULUM PURCHASES FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! WOO HOO!!

 (sigh of relief...)

Now if I can only figure out a way to keep my DD from peeing her undies still at 6 yrs old, I'd be in fantastic shape.  I KNOW she's doing it for attention or something because of the arrival of a new brother, but I HATE having all that extra laundry, and having TWO kids with diaper rash (because SHE won't tell when she messes... ARRGH!)  It's more than I bargained for with her.  At least she hasn't shown any aggression towards her brother, and seems to really love him.  She's always oohing and aahing over how cute he is... I just wish she were TOTALLY potty trained at 6, you know?!?

Any advice on that would be helpful... We've already tried the 'positive reinforcement' stuff, and the taking away privileges, and next step is spanking (which I am sooooo against, but am postpartum, easily upset, and at the end of my parenting rope here!! I don't know what else to try!!!)

TY for any advice! 

I've got a problem.  I wasn't aware of it until recently when DD and I were walking around the neighborhood and passed a black man with his obviously bi-racial children (adorable babies, IMHO!) DD waits a while, till they're out of earshot (thank goodness!) and says, bluntly:

"That's not right."

I look at her, confused, and ask, "What's not right?"

"Your kids should be the same color as you. You should only marry people with the same skin color as you have."

(thinking to self) "Woah, where the HELLo Kitty did THAT come from?!?"  (saying aloud) "Well, God likes all different colors, and I think that it makes God happy when people of different colors get together to make new ones." (See, we're raising her with Buddhist and Christian faith - just pointing that out, LOL - there was nothing in my Buddhist philosophy I could pull out fast enough!)

DD, "I still think it's wrong.  I'm marrying a light skinned person like me.  I don't like dark skin."

Holy COW!

 We're not a racist family, BTW.  No one here thinks kindly of the KKK or their philosophies.  We are not white supremacists or anything like that.  We don't use racial slurs, we don't avoid people of different colors - in fact, my good friend from church is the mother of a bi-racial child!  I don't care what color you are as long as you're not a jerk!!!!!

I don't know what went wrong!  We live in a diverse area of the city - there is a pretty even split around here, and there's a lot of (I wanna say 'blended families' but I know that's not right...) (colorful sounds like they're bad... ) (mixed?) families around - black/white, hispanic/white, asian/indian, etc.  In other words, there are a LOT of biracial children running around these parts!  Where did my child pick this up?  It's not like she's in school witnessing the racial tensions between the kids or adults...  I don't know.

I spoke with her about her feelings.  I also asked guidance from my friend with the biracial child.  She backs me up on this issue.  I told DD that it was okay to have her own feelings about who she wanted to marry.  She's even got the right to feel that mixing colors is wrong.  She's not allowed to make anyone feel bad for making a different choice than she would, and especially not allowed to exclude anyone for not being her same color.  I told her it's not anyone's fault what color they're born as, and we're all the same on the inside.

She gets it - I hope...

I hope.

I remember having DD at the pediatrition's office SIX YEARS AGO, and having him tell me that she was jaundiced, but to continue to breastfeed her and he'd check her in a couple more weeks.  She never needed a bili test, never had to RE-test, and I just am confused about my current peditrition.

When I took DS to the doc for his appt., he was four and a half days old.  She said he was a little jaundiced and to keep him in sunny rooms.  She ALSO said that since I'm not bottle feeding, she doesn't know how much he's taking in.  I kinda felt like "So sorry I'd rather keep my child HEALTHY at YOUR inconvienence.  Perhaps I'll switch him to the pig swill so YOU can have peace of mind!"  I know it's a CYOA out there in the medical profession, but I thought the academy of pediatrics was supposed to SUPPORT breastfeeding, not switch to bottle at the first sign of trouble!!!

Today, we went again, and the doc ordered a bili test.  In retrospect, I shouldn't have even gone in.  It was awful.  But you can't unring a bell.  The awful lab techs wouldn't allow me to hold my son, or breastfeed him to comfort him while they squeezed a tiny vial of my son's blood from his heel.  I was so ready to crack - take him in my arms and RUN from there!  My wonderful DD was also disturbed by all this, knowing that it was hurting him and making him cry so bad... I should've never done it.

His number was 15, which is 'borderline' and the pediatrician wants to have another test done on Monday.  I'm hoping to find another physician before Monday.  I've gotta do something.  It's just not necessary for the lab staff to be so cruel.  Plus, his heel sticks have not even completely healed from the test they did before we were discharged!  Poor little man! He's lucky he can't walk anyhow - the pokes look painful!

I feel SOO bad right now for those moms who aren't confident enough in themselves to ignore a doctor who suggests a bottle OVER breast!  I wonder how many women this 'woman' has thwarted with her bottle happy ways.  I wonder nationwide how many doctors are advising the same things, and how many women are made to feel like they CAN'T breastfeed or that they SHOULDN'T!  Now, don't go pegging me as an anti-bottle nut.  I'm supportive of each woman's choice.  It IS a free country (last I checked) and I have no rights to tell you what to do or to make you feel guilty in your decision.  Some women can't bf because they have medical problems or their baby has medical issues.  Some women just choose to bottle feed.  That's fine with me - but I think DOCTORS SHOULD SUPPORT WHICHEVER DECISION YOU MAKE REGARDING YOUR CHILD'S NUTRITION!!!! And not try to thwart you at the first sign of trouble.

 I wonder to myself if it's ever been said, "Your baby's jaundiced.  Better breastfeed him once or twice to help it go away." "I know you bottle feed, but one breastfeeding won't hurt and it'll help..."

I need a physician who is okay with our decision to keep our son whole (no circumcision) and our decision to breastfeed exclusively for six months.  I can't believe the medical profession has gotten so intervening with everything.

I gotta try and get some sleep.

Okay, I had him Monday night.

I went into the doctor at 1, where I was officially pronounced 'in labor' and told to make my way to the hospital sometime in the next few hours, and if things stalled this time, as long as I consented to it, she'd break my water.  So we dropped off DD at the sitter's, had some dinner, discussed final birthing plan options, got our heads in the game and went on in!

At 6ish, the water was broken. I sat for a bit, patiently allowing myself to be monitored for a bit before the ADD kicked in so bad I was going to beat someone if I didn't get a change of scenery, LOL.  I took to the jaccuzzi tub for an hour or two before the doc told me I would have to get out eventually, as they don't deliver in the tubs.  I wasn't disappointed about it, because by then I was ready to get another change of scenery.  It was back to the bed to get some more monitoring on (arrgh!) when all of a sudden, I had a spike in intensity for these contractions.  I thought it was 'cuz I was out of the water, I'm hanging on the bed for dear life, thinking "oh, crap, I'm going to NEED an epidural now."  Once that big bad one was over, I convinced myself I would be okay with another one, but any after that would be medicated, cuz THAT was intense!  The next one comes and I started asking for an epidural.

As per birthing plan, my support team (ALL home BTW!) asked if I thought I could hold off for a few more minutes.  I took out my demon, mom-in-labor, exorcist-style voice and said, "I'm not waiting, I want an epidural NOW!!!!" which even scared ME, LOL.  The staff had to check me, obviously, before proceeding.  The nurse or doctor (like I was paying attention?! HA!) pronounced me to be fully dilated and ready to push!

Hooray! Yippee! and all the other happy exclamations you can come up with!!!

Only now, I don't want to push.  I'm done with this.  Someone else can push.  I got us this far, make DH do the pushing or something.  I'm tired! (a week and a half of prelabor will do that to you, lol)  I wanna go home.  I officially quit.

Then came that next contraction...

Yeah, this has GOT to stop.  I pushed a bit with each contraction that was telling me to push, and tore along my old incision from last time.  I delivered a head, and they tried telling me to STOP pushing now... which is the opposite of what my body's now telling me, so THAT was hard.  In fact, I'm pretty sure as much as I was trying to listen, my body wasn't cooperating, LOL.  A few moments later, there was this purple-ish mass of roly-poly baby on my tummy!  I picked him up for a look, said hello and all that, and was just over the moon with him!  But he wasn't making much noise, and was still purple.

He got taken away from my belly (saftey issues, not really breathing well, but STILL sad!!!) and over to the table for more stimulation and suction and stuff.  THEN he started getting upset!  He pinked up again, and was given back.  We nursed, or tried to - he wasn't interested, so we just sat there and looked eachother over.  Skin to skin, we cuddled and bonded and all that jazz.

He was 9 lbs 3 oz., 20.5 inches long, and perfect!  Not too large, lmbo, didn't get stuck, was actually SMALLER than his sister, and just as adorable!  I'm over the moon, in no pain except where I tore (and needed stitches! OW!) and just spending time getting used to my baby, my new, larger family, laundry, and trying to balance healing with REAL LIFE, nonstop STUFF that just still needs to get done.

Oh, yeah, I DID take him when he was 2 days old to the HPootP movie premier, where we saw an earlier show with my sister, in a half-empty theater!  I LOVED the movie, but was shocked to see the seats empty!  Maybe it was the time of day that we went, you know?  I hear it's doing well in the box office.  Some of the things I enjoyed about the movie were the thestrals, and the person they chose to use as the betrayer of the DA to Umbridge.  That rocked.  I'll say no more, as I know there are HP fans out there that may not have had the chance to see the movie.

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I also got the baby's pics done at a local department store since the theater was so close and he was in a good mood.  I have 2-day-old-infant pics from the store coming! LMBO that's just INSANE!  I've been feeling it today - OUCHIE...

I'm going to get some rest, relax and recover, and be back on the blogosphere in not TOO long!

Thanks for all the support and comments!  It was fun to read when I got back.  Take care!

Luv, C

Okay, so now I'm being mean.? YOU try 6 days of labor that's not strong enough to be admitted, and too slow to show any major progress - see how YOU feel after that many sleepless nights (without a baby yet - If there were a REASON for me to be up, i.e. feeding and changing a BABY, I wouldn't be SO GROUCHY about the whole thing!).? My Doctor (I'll just use her first name) Lisa said on MONDAY afternoon, my water would break - in her guess - in the next 24 hours.? This after she stripped the membranes.? Why would I believe her?? BECAUSE she's been doing this sort of guesswork and has seen lots of cervixes in her lifetime. SO I'm sitting on towels, walking around, using evening primrose oil, enjoying time at home with my husband, and everything else recommended to get things moving.? It's been 48 hours now, and I'm still sitting here - no water breakage, nothing stronger than a 4 on the pain scale of 1-10.

So, yeah, the big, fat meanie in me is coming out and calling my doctor a big fat liar.??Apparently Lisa has no idea what she's talking about.? I'm about ready to try and burst my own water, but I'm too big of a chicken to actually try using one of my own crochet hooks.? It creeps me out.? I'm frustrated, trust me, but not to the point of clinical insanity...yet...

I'm telling you all - I got so frustrated yesterday, I started crying and freaking out that even if he DOES get here, I'll be so angry at him, I won't love him.? Don't even bother telling me it's Baloney, either, because I really DID feel that way.? I also started wondering if there was a correlation between length of labor and rate of abandonment in a dumpster (as if drugs or situation had no factors...). In any event, I empathized with these mothers for a few seconds.? I really felt I could have done the same thing.? I know I couldn't have walked away from my newborn, no matter what, but that feeling of sympathy was there for a moment.

I'm so frustrated at this situation.? I'm sick of everyone dogging me with 'that baby still not out yet?' and 'haven't you had that baby yet?' and no one actually believes me that it's been 6 DAYS of LABOR for me and there's still no baby.? I had no idea someone could be in labor for that long.? I'm ALMOST to the point of asking for an induction, this week-long crap is KILLING ME!!!!!!!

Also, the site posted question marks in my post as well - 4th of July joke?