I'm sad to see the crochet cake go.  I may have to make another for my own counter to free up some cupboard space.  Maybe something in a color totally wacky, like hunter orange, or something that goes with the current decor, like a lavender.  We'll see if my inspiration gets motivation tomorrow... or sometime later than that...

Diana is growing up too fast.  Not fair.  She's going to be a jr bridesmaid for my SIL's wedding, and I'm totally seeing her in a new light.  She's getting taller, smart as a whip, and so mature.  She never ceases to amaze me.  We just need to buckle down with our schoolwork more.

The Baby, who I'm calling Brobee now after his favorite Yo Gabba Gabba character, is turning a corner in speaking and is beginning to not only parrot, but form his own sentences.  His most recent one today was, "Come on!" when the TV wouldn't turn on! LOL, he cracks me up.

Voldemort still works nights, and has been working his tail off with extra route shifts so he's often gone from 5pm to 7am.  Poor guy!

I got a PT job as a hotel grunt.  I'm not a maid, not a janitor, but somewhere in-between.  I do what needs done.  I suppose my title would be part time housekeeper.  It's work I've been doing at home since 2002, so I guess I'm pretty qualified!

Diana watches Brobee - sort of - while Volde gets an extra hour or two of sleep.  My shift is from early afternoon to early evening.  Usually Brobee takes a noon-ish nap, which is about when I leave.  I'm back by dinner.  Diana watches him and plays with him until Volde wakes up around 1 or so.  If Brobee sleeps for 2 hours, Diana doesn't have to do anything.  I pay her in video game time, which works for her.  I feel guilty about working sometimes.  I guess that will pass when I get paid for the first time in 7 years.  Not that it's a huge check, mind you, with PT unskilled labor - but it's only that much more that we have to budget with, right?

I got Dr. Laura's new book, "In Praise of Stay at Home Mothers (or Moms, which one is it?... whichever)" which only makes the guilt that much worse.  Especially since I got it from Voldemort for my birthday, 2 days after starting my new job.

I'm sick of trying to defend this, though, since the kids are with their father (sleeping for a little, but no major mishaps will happen without an adult nearby to fix whatever it is that happens).  It's only like 15 hours a week, and it's cleaning. Something I need to do more of anyhow.  If I clean at work, I am more likely to clean at home, since I'll be in the 'cleaning groove' and more likely to not neglect those details we all tend to overlook when we stay at home all day every day without a real reason to leave the house most days.  I admit, I was feeling claustrophobic, underappreciated, and not equal in the relationship.  I felt BAD wanting to take the kids out to see a movie once in a while, or go shopping and buy a pretzel and smoothies for crying out loud!  There's the gas expense, the $ for the sundries, and the whole thing is no fun if you're worrying about how that extra 10 bucks could've bought milk!  So there.  My paycheck is going towards savings and towards fun outings like a bounce house or ice skating or something like that.

Heck, my paycheck, if used properly, could be dance lessons or riding lessons - well, gas to get there, I can do the lessons if I revisit some old friends and borrow some horses.  I could do so much good with that extra income, including helping us get a loan to actually own our first home.  Can you believe when we thought of applying, visiting a loan center, we were told we can't get approved?  If, however, I had shoved the kids in daycare, and managed a negative income from work wardrobe, second car expenses and all that while working, we could've been approved!?!  So the whole mortgage industry was (IMHO) anti-SAHM, anti-traditional values, and all.  Maybe the next time we ask, with my PT income and his FT income, we'll be easier to approve...

I'm also glad to have a job in this economy, just in case Volde's job tanks for some reason.  I don't know how that would happen, but thankfully I would have something, income-wise, and skill set wise.  Hotels are always looking for housekeepers because it's crappy work, hard labor, and physically demanding stuff.  So it's a skill set, in a matter of speaking, that all hotels use, and I could move anywhere.  And I'm not stupid, have management experience, and would transition easily from housekeeper to behind the desk, if I needed to.

I've gotta go.  I know not too many people read me anymore, but it's comforting to get my thoughts out somewhere relatively safe.  So thank you, whatever you are, whoever you are, you are a great comfort to me in those wee hours in the evening when my train of thought derails my rest. ;)