Well with such frustrating feelings dh and I have talked lots, searched more and consulted friends again.  So two nights ago I started my approach.  Today was the first day we started and it was so good.  She listened and learned but did not  realize, we had fun, wow

Please check out the websit I have listed, it is great and is a friend of mines.

Brandy

www.hslibrarybuilder.com

I am ready to run and screem till I collapse.  Our daughter is spoiled and rude.  She has no desire to get her work done.  She wants us to spoon feed her everything and then tells us to leave her alone.  I can't play this game very long.  We took her out of school because she was behind and social issues were terrible on her.  I love her so much, I will do anything for her.  But I need for her to take personal responcability for her self.  I dread thinking I have to create a millitary style home to get things moving.  My dh and I love to be low key and have fun in life, but dd seems to push against that at all points.  She hates for me to yell at her, but bring it on her self.  I have tried not getting upset and let her fail on her own, that does not seem to matter to her either.  She is kind and sweet and loving on her terms.  And she plays perfect kid for others, even grandmother.  I am just the lazy mom when it comes to m-in-law and can't do anything right in the kid area, however she does not see the whole child.  I better stop or I will get even more worked up.  If you have advise about the dd please share.  Dd is 11 yrs old.  She does not want to go to public school, we can afford private school.  Have thought of finding someone who would "homeschool" her, but have not gone any further than thought.

Brandy